Brutally Honest Pregnancy Humor Post

Since I am living in a sea of sick right now, I basically have all kinds of time to have the most ridiculous thoughts. Usually my oddball thoughts are reserved for running, so it is interesting that "morning sickness" (all freaking day sickness) can inspire the same concept. Until I am back to blogging about running, here are the random thoughts of the 1st trimester. This is what a typical morning/afternoon/evening of being sick looks like ;)

1. I am so hungry.

2. I am never eating again.

3. I want to eat those fried pickles, but I bet I will throw them up.

4. I am going to eat them.

5. Well those didn't stay down long. 

6. There are still some pickles left. I am probably going to eat another and regret it.

7. No regrets. Oh God, REGRET! Regret!

8. I've never been so thirsty in my life. I want to guzzle 10 gallons of water. 

9. Water is so gross. 

10. Not being able to hold water down is pretty much rock bottom right? I mean where do you go from there?

11. I am dying.

12. I am dying, but I could still go for some sushi.

13. I remember when I was running 10 miles and eating the entire contents of my kitchen. Those were the days. Last month.

14. I can actually see my muscles wasting away. I am going to have bird legs again.

15. I wonder if birds get morning sickness.

16. If I am going to spend so much time on the floor of this bathroom, we should update the flooring. 

17. Okay, Bob Evans mashed potatoes are literally saving my life right now. I would just waste away without Bob Evans mashed potatoes. What is in these things that makes them magically stay down?

18. I am so sick of Bob Evans mashed potatoes.

19. I might name this baby Bob Evans.

20. Remember when eating was enjoyable? 

21. I am going to eat so many things when I finally stop barfing.

22. Chocolate cake. Philly cheese steaks. Spinach artichoke dip.

23. Thinking about food is a bad idea.

24. When is the last time I cleaned the grout in here?

25. I miss cleaning. I am gonna clean this place so hard when I stop barfing.

26. I hope no one decides to visit anytime soon. This house is scary.

27. Maybe I can wipe everything down in here with Lysol wipes in between hurking.

28. Only I would clean a bathroom while being sick in said bathroom.

29. It smells better at least.

30. Okay, time to talk myself up for teeth brushing. I can do this.

31. I cannot do this.

32. Maybe if I pray first.

33. Okay, pass the altoids. I will give it another hour.

Oddly enough, today was a better day. I was able to eat and clean with minimal nausea. I am hoping this means better days are around the corner! 

-Teacup Runner